My 2011 and at 35…

I know that new opportunities will arise for me this year, resulting in a positive turn for my career. I know that I will learn to master my energy to meet my goals. I know that I am good at taking leadership, and make it deep, transforming changes and tap into this abundant energy in a new and dynamic ways. Even though I may feel pulled to accomplish great things, I will still be able to keep balance in my personal life and my energy alive and renewed.

Amidst this change, I will be able to remain mentally focused. I may become more methodical and practical than usual in managing my responsibilities. Stopping to think things through carefully will impact me and my surroundings in a very profound and positive way. I seized the opportunity to think things through during the past few months. Even though I enjoy beginning new projects, I still make sometime to relax a bit to complement my natural tendency towards activity, both physically & mentally.

As I successfully achieve my goals this year, it is important to maintain a watchful eye over the security of my family. I may find myself doing abrupt changes in my life and still take pleasure in spending more time and energy enjoying the creature comforts I have created. I will cultivate good relationships through the end of the year with my business associates and real friends whom I know for sure will reflect positive changes in my life. I have a will to enjoy socializing more than usual. I will be networking and connecting with different types of people from all over the world and it gives me the feeling like a breath of fresh air. As my career takes off, it will be much easier than usual to express myself with warmth and charm.

Because of major shifts in my long term plans of career, luck and good fortune will definitely smile upon me in this area of my life and I will be rewarded for all my hard work. For I know that new avenues of expression and opportunities will open up and I will definitely feel support, inner strength and courage from those people who still believes in me.

The time has come for a fresh start, I formulated plans to get back on track and make the necessary decisions. I know that I will experience deep philosophical changes around work and career that cause me to reevaluate my present situation and motivate myself to make choices on the best path to follow. I will find support to be able to communicate with clarity and purpose in defining myself worth and my needs.

I possess an active and dynamic will, and I hope this year especially will bring me an abundant amount of energy to support my contemplating beginning new projects. I am very capable in accomplishing what I set out to do and I can see the stars shines brightly to support any changes I decide to make. My success will carve out a beautiful path of recognition and a positive reputation. Staying on target with my goals should be easy and I will effortlessly climb up to the top of my goals to achieve great success. I will learn new ways to express my strong determination to succeed and that’s what I intend to keep…

I am for myself alone and I do write as I please for I feel what I think & think what I feel.

An Option

My son is now 7 years old and never actually experience having a father or a father-figure in the house. I sometimes wonder how it is like to have his dad with us. Sharing same things together and joining activities in school such us Family Day.

My son is requesting for a baby sister or a brother. He said he’s gonna be kuya (big brother) and would take good care of the baby. I asked him how will I do that? He said, “Get a new honey like my dad!” I told him that if I’ll do it, then he won’t be sharing the same bed with me. Then he said, “That’s impossible!” As if he knows what it meant!

After leaving my son’s dad, I never really looked at the guy the way every woman should. I started to despise them. Don’t get me wrong tho… I don’t hate man that much, matter of fact, I can be really friendly. But every time a guy reveals their feelings for me, I don’t know but there’s this thing inside me that is automatically reacting… blocking them and when it happens, I change my reactions towards them and I am often times rude as in very, very rude.

Getting a man to fall in love with me is not hard but having myself fall for a guy is tougher. I always see small things or I am probably looking for ways that will make me stop seeing them. Finding faults is easy, appreciating is grueling! I don’t know. But shit happens or I just am not really into it, I guess. I don’t want the guy to control me. I don’t want to be his shadow. I don’t want to depend on guys and I certainly don’t want the guy to depend on me.

Well, I fell for guys several times in the past, I can’t say never again but who knows? It may not be bad after all…  “Commitment is the component of love”. I don’t know if I can commit nor fall in love.

But…

Giving the benefit of a doubt, I came up with the conclusion to give myself a chance to meet guys again. Perhaps even go beyond my wildest dream. Get to know them again. Maybe it’s time to meet them half way. Maybe this stubborn heart will fall in love again. I don’t know how I will teach my heart to do that but I am sure that I have to change my mind first before I’ll have a change of heart. 

“Dating guys again is just an option but it does not guarantee anything. Girls still have the biggest advantage in my life!”